Socialization Issues for the Home Schooled Child

in Country Child

When first researching home-schooling a parent's initial worries revolve around these very issues. So when we are faced with the "Aren't you concerned about socialization?" question, we are well armed. The answers we give are neither easy nor brief.

First, before you answer, try to determine the querant's meaning of "socialization." Here's a few we've all run into with some food for thought (or retaliation).

"Where will a homeschooled child learn...

...to work in groups?"
Group co-operation is taught wonderfully in the home first. Daily chores or errands as well as new tasks can be accomplished with co-operation from all household members. Later this ability can be polished in child focused groups such as scouts, guides, bible group, etc.

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby- age 7

...to make and keep friends?"
Friendships aren't only made in schools. Friends are gained through time and effort during meaningful and interesting interactions. This type of socialization (positive) can be gained through after school and weekend events, home-schooling support groups, pen pals, summer camp, etc.

...to stand up for themselves or fight?"
Wouldn't we rather teach our children negotiating skills than fist-fighting? Home schooled children learn safer, more effective ways of dealing with threatening situations. Children who feel the need to learn how to defend themselves physically can enroll in a martial arts program.

...to wait their turn, take orders, follow rules or sit at a desk all day?"
How many years does it take for a child to realize that the world does not revolve around them? Is this something we really need to pound into their young egos for 12 consecutive years? Do our children not learn at home that their needs can't always be met on the spot, that at times parents are bossy and that rules must be followed?

...manners?"
Being around adults setting good examples of manners is far better than being around peers who don't have any. Manners are best taught in the home, with loving guidance, rather than in the schools with shame.

...to accept people of ethnic and diverse cultural backgrounds?"
In the community, when they are with us all day. At least this way we can instill our values into our young charges during the impressionable years. Schooled children are largely affected by their peers' prejudices, peers who carry with them their parent's attitudes about other cultures.

In school children learn to to disregard other cultures, taunting and teasing them because of their differences. Seldom is respect and acceptance for differing cultures learned in the school.

If you have any questions left unanswered about homeschooling and socialization, don't hesitate to contact me. I'd be honored to help.

Laura Childs